Guys, Horses and Cannons
by Xenoglossy
Summary: If enemies are building units on adjacent territories, an attack may be planned. The CCS gang sits down to a game of RISK with some unexpected results... (ESy, but barely)


**PRE FIC RANTINGS AND A SPRINKLE OF DISCLAIMER:** This fic, oddly enough, is not random. After playing a gae of RISK that was halfway between a war for world domination and a historical romance, Caily suggested that I write a RISK fanfic. I decided rather, to write a fanfic ABOUT people playing RISK. Since Caily is a huge CCS fan, this just kind of happened. Thanks to Caily, who was my color consultant and her sister Megan who was decidely unsuspiciou when I started piling up my North/South American border up with six cannons. Oh yes, and poor Adam, who was also present.  
The title (and Syaoran's anal-ness on the subject) comes straight from my good friend Gregory who has never in his life referred to infantry as "guys".)  
I don't own CCS or RISK. However, I enjoy both greatly. And a warning: though I'm on a huge Syaoran/Sakura shipping kick right now, this fic randomly became E/Sy. So, um, slashy roadblocks insue.  
This is for anyone who's ever wanted to take over the world and could only exercise their maniacal plans on cardboard, living vicariously through their red attack dice...  
**NOTE:** Infanty/Guy= 1 Calvary/Horse= 5 Artillery/Cannon= 10 =================================================================== Guys, Horses and Cannons  
Izzy Girl "Siam and Indonesia. Lets go, Yamazaki." Meiling snatched up the attack dice viciously and shot a glare at her classmate as he reached cautiously for the white defense dice. He stared at the board for a moment, then looked at Meiling. "I don't really see how my four guys are much of a threat when Hiiragizawa over there is closing in on China with two cannons." "Infantry and artillery." Syaoran mumbled from across the table, "Not guys and cannons." "Whatever." Meiling narrowed her eyes, "The point is, I don't like yellow." she hissed, "Your army is tacky. Besides, I want Australia and Indonesia is the only way in." "But..." "Oh, take it like a man and roll, Takahashi." Chiharu poked the back of his neck from where she was standing, leaning on the back of his chair, "Eriol's getting nine a turn right now. Meiling's smart not to mess with him." Yamazaki sighed and Meiling rolled. She twitched slightly as Yamazaki's dice showed a five and four against her two threes and a one, but picked up the dice again without saying so much as a word. This continued for some time until her cannon had been worked down to three infantry. Yamazaki had only lost one man. "You've won this one, but just you wait until I get a Risk card." she muttered, fortifying a five-piece down into her weakened Siam with a rather weary expression. Yamazaki grinned widely and passed the dice down the table. Sakura blinked and looked up from the rule book, "Is it my turn?" Tomoyo leaned forwards, having been beat out of the game by Syaoran several turns earlier, and studied the board thoroughly. She glanced up at Eriol, then Syaoran and whispered something to Sakura who just shook her head, "Uh, I don't think I'm really strong enough to do anything like that yet. Um, I'll just place my armies and let Syao-chan go. I get five, right?" "Oh come on, Sakura." Meiling laughed, "The game's called 'Risk' for a reason. Anyways, it's not like Syaoran's gonna do anything to you if you break into North America." "Yeah." Yamazaki agreed, "He'd most likely fortify back into Asia and let you waltz in." "That's not true." Syaoran grumbled, never taking his eyes once from the spot where they were fixed, watching his four Greenland cannons staring down the barrels of fifty of Eriol's Icelandic artillery, "I'd at least take Hiiragizawa down with me." "So vengeful, Xiao Lang." Eriol shook his head reprimendingly, "I've told you almost every turn that I have very little intrest in North America at the moment. If you haven't noticed, I'm moving east." Syaoran shot the British boy a sharp look, "Which is why you only have fifty artillery built up along our border!" Eriol smiled faintly, "I am just being cautious." "Cautious my ass..." Syaoran broke off into mumbling and Sakura shrugged, placing a single blue horse on North Africa before passing her dice off to Syaoran. "Kamchackta and Irkutst." he growled, still placing his bonus armies. Eriol sighed a long sigh and picked up the defense dice reluctantly. This was an old battle that had been raging since the game had begun three hours earlier. Syaoran was unwilling to take down the mage's European borders so was settling for starting pointless skirmishes in Russia. Syaoran rolled a five and four and a two then waited, smugly, for Eriol. As usual, Eriol rolled two sixes with perfect ease. "You're cheating." Syaoran accused, breaking a calvary into three infantry. "You may think that if you'd like." "How else do you keep rolling sixes! It's impossible to win with you!" "Then why do you keep trying?" Syaoran glared, "Roll again." he said harshly, then added, "You first." Once again, Eriol rolled double sixes. Syaoran begrudgingly removed two of his men and cast out another roll- two sixes and a five. He glaced up at Eriol, who's expression was blank. The mage's dice came up a five and a six. "Hah!" Syaoran aquired a tirumphant expression as Eriol began breaking one of his cannons. "You still lose one, Li-kun." Chiharu pointed out bluntly as the young swordsman was reaching towards his armies. "I know that. That's not the point." He tightened his fist around the attack dice, "Roll, Hiiragizawa." Meiling growled loudly and began rearranging her own armies while Sakura went back to reading the manual and Chiharu began playing with her hair. Yamazaki turned his attention towards his spare pieces, including the colorful POWs he had insistantly captured from his opponents. Syaoran swore loudly as Eriol rolled another set of perfect sixes and Yamazaki brought forwards three red infantry he'd captured from Meiling on her last turn. "The red-clad soilders of the Chinese army approach the Australian council of yellow, pleading for their lives," he began, almost in a whisper. "My subjects would never beg for their lives." Meiling hissed, "They'd have more honor than that." "All honor and no sense." Sakura grinned, "You're not exactly winning, Meiling." Meiling's cheeks reddened and she crossed her arms, "Who asked your opinion, Kinomoto. This is your first time playing." she added, almost as an afterthought, "And it's not like you're doing much better." "I have South America." Sakura said, a touch proudly, "And I've watched Touya play before, so I'm not totally green." "You only have South America because my spineless cousin wants you to be his girlfriend." Apparently Syaoran was too distracted to have heard this comment as he was presently failing to blush madly. He practically threw the dice at Eriol, who was still calm considering all things. Syaoran observed his roll and turned blue. "Who... who rolls three ones!?" he stuttered in disbelief. "Meiling does." Yamazaki snickered, "In fact, I do believe that such things are heridetory. After all, the son of any assasinated lord will eventually become assasinated himself. I've actually heard that they're doing genetic research on that exact subject and may be working on a way to seek out and destroy the exact gene that dictates that an induvidual will be assasinated at some point in his life." Yamazaki cleared his throat and continued despite the storm that was gathering in Chiharu's manner, "They believe that it may be related to the infamous 'get-hit-by-a-bus' gene that has been troubling entire family lines since buses were created back in the early 1900's." "I've heard of the elusive 'get-hit-by-a-bus' gene." Eriol cut in, shooting Yamazaki and meaningful look, "It was originally discovered by a German geneologist named Franz Lipswitz. The problem was that he found and studied it within his own genetic makeup and, being somewhat of an eccentric, refused to put any of his research down on paper." "Right!" Yamazaki caught the line and finished gleefully, "All information on the subject was lost when the poor man was mowed down by a bus less than a week later!" "How unfortunate." Sakura frowned. It was unclear whether she actually bought the story or if she was just playing along, "I guess that means the Li line must carry the 'unable-to-roll-a-decent-victory-in-RISK' gene." Chiharu was grinding her teeth while Yamazaki grinned and looked for a moment as if she were about to give him the beating of a lifetime, but instead huffed loudly and took a seat beside Tomoyo on the couch, glaring a hole through her boyfriend's back. "That's ridiculous!" Syaoran exclaimed, then looked at Eriol, "And you stop making excuses! Just roll!" "Why? No matter what I roll, you'll still lose two men." "Infantry, not men. And I don't care. I want to see your roll." Eriol shrugged and threw the dice. Syaoran's face, which meanwhile had returned to it's normal color, flooded blue again. Eriol had rolled snake eyes. **TWO HOURS LATER...** "And the walls of China come crumbling down." Yamazaki grinned broadly, rolling the dice in Meiling's general direction. "NO!" The girl shreiked, "You've enroached my territory enough, there is NO way you're taking my homeland!" she glared at the dice as they came to rest in front of her. She glanced at her cousin, "Xiao Lang, help me out here! He can't just take China!" "Don't worry, Meiling." Syaoran assured, rolling his eyes, "When I take it next round I'll do it in your name." The chinese girl huffed and took the defense dice, "You have no national pride." "Or no family loyalty." Yamazaki pointed out, "Now roll." Meiling made a loud and fustrated noise and threw the dice down harshly. "You lose two. I win!" Yamazaki began moving his Siamese army into China but Meiling grabbed his wrist with bonebreaking strength. He yelped. "No so fast, Takahashi." she pointed at the dice, "I think you've got it a bit backwards. You've got a one over there so I've still got a man left." "What are you talking about? My four beats your three and my three beats your two. The one doesn't matter." Meiling narrowed her eyes, "Are you arguing with me? Quit trying to cheat. You rolled that one over there so I only lose one man. Now get the hell out of my country!" "Hiiragizawa!" Yamazaki whined. Eriol leaned over the board and peered at the dice, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He hmmed softly, then returned to his seat. "I do apologize, Miss Li, but it seems that Yamazaki has bested you once again." Meiling loosened her grip around Yamazaki's wrist. The boy quickly tore his arm away and began rubbing at the spot where her fingers had left deep, red imprints. "I... totally don't get this dice thing." she complained softly, removing the last of her red soldiers from the board and placing them in their case listlessly, "I think you're all cheating. Taking advantage of me just because I'm bad at math." "It doesn't have anything to do with math, Meiling." Sakura pointed out, STILL reading the instruction manual, "Just matching up pairs. It's basic counting." "It's unfair." Meiling pouted, "By now, I'm usually winning." "Yes, but you're usually playing with my sisters." Syaoran pointed out wisely, drawing back from the angry glare that was immedietly sent his way. "Whatever." Meiling stood up and pushed her chair out from the table noisily, "I'm going to go find Tomoyo and Chiharu." she looked at Syaoran again, "Xiao Lang, if you haven't reclaimed China by the time I've returned, expect that your mother will hear about it." She exited, leaving the dice to Eriol who tapped one long finger against his chin and observed the board. The game hadn't changed substantially due to Yamazaki's invasion of Meiling's land. Syaoran still had a grip on North America while Sakura dabbled down in South America and Africa. Eriol himself had a firm hold on Europe and was working towards possesing all of Asia. Unfortunately, the lower half of the board was beginning to look yellow. "Xiao Lang, I fear your cousin may be upset with you when she returns." he pushed a mass of black calvary towards the Afghanistahn/China border and threw the defense dice down the table towards Yamazaki. Yamazaki paled. "Hiiragizawa, you're heartless! After I battled so valiantly for it!" "Evil, european dictators show no remorse." Syaoran said darkly, steepling his fingers, "And neither do infuriating, blue-haired mages." Eriol smiled, "Although I find the comparison rather... charming, Xiao Lang, I do not believe it is entirely accurate. I once knew an aspiring dictator in my youth. He was the sort who would help old ladies cross the busy London roads. He also grew rare, african azalias." "Did he ever amount to anything?" Syaoran wondered, eyeing Eriol disdainfully. "Not as a politician, but he made a fortune in patenting. In fact, he designed the earliest verison of the boardgame we are currently playing." Syaoran glowered, "That's not true." "Choose to believe what you will, Little Wolf, but I have been playing RISK since before the Li clan made it's name." "Just focus on fighting Yamazaki, Hiiragizawa. And don't call me 'Little Wolf'." Sakura snickered and looked up slightly from the rule book, " 'Little Wolf'." she mused thoughtfully, "That's cute." Syaoran turned as red as the attack dice Eriol was rolling. Before long Yamazaki's sunshine-colored presence was completely erased from lower Asia. His hands were shaking around the dice as Eriol stared at the game in contemplation. He was backed into Africa and had, stupidly, left his Indonesian border lightly defended. When Eriol passed Sakura the dice he let out a sigh of relief and nearly fainted. Sakura slammed down the rule book preppily and began gathering up blue pieces, "Right. I think I might actually do something this turn. Okay, I get seven guys this turn, so that's a horse and two men... meaning I get a cannon here and... right!" She raised her head and grinned at Syaoran brightly, "I'm sorry, Syao-chan." "Huh?" Syaoran looked at the spot where Central America and Venezuela met. For the first time, he noticed that Sakura had built up forty armies when he still only had fifteen. He sweatdropped, "When and how did THAT happen." Yamazaki once again had retreated into orchestrating political and romantic dramas with his discarded men. He brought forwards three green men captured from his assault on Syaoran's Yakutst, "And the green clad prisoners of North America admit that they are rather ashamed of their illustrious leader. They are confused at how he managed to overlook some of his more important borders, but when one considers how absorbed he is in his war with the massive black empire, this is understandable. The vicious rivalry between these two dictators is more than a tad disturbing and especially obsessive on the part of the green leader, and may well serve as some sort of freaky foreplay between the two..." Sakura coughed loudly and Yamazaki froze, looking up slowly as he realized the other three in the room were indeed paying attention to him. Syaoran was staring at him in unbridled horror and even the ever-collected Eriol seemed slightly shocked. The two turned to stare at each other, which was probably not the best thing they could have done. Syaoran blushed and Eriol raised his chin as if to say that the chinese swordsman was beneath him. "Uh, um, er..." Yamazaki stuttered, "Did I say foreplay? Wrong choice of words on my part. I meant, uh, prelude. A prelude to a battle between the two that may indeed bring the downfall of human civilization as we know it. The end. Anyways, Li, I wouldn't worry about me. Sakura seems to have quite a few more cannons than you down there in South America, and that's not even counting her legion of horses packed into Africa." Obviously this was just too much for Syaoran's tortured psyche to take. The chinese boy snapped, "NOT HORSES!" he hollered, "THEY'RE NOT HORSES!" Silence. "Er, right." Yamazaki bit his lip nervously, "They're in Africa, so I suppose they would be zebras. Or gazelle, or maybe even antelope." "NO!" Syaoran stood up and snatched the rule book up from where Sakura had laid it down. He flipped about three pages in and waved it in front of Yamazaki's face madly, "Read it, Takahashi! INFANTRY! CALVARY AND ARTILLERY! NOT GUYS! NOT CANNONS! NOT HORSES! Or... or... zebras... or whatever the HELL you were going on about!" Eriol cleared his throat and placed himself between the heaving and fuming Syaoran and the cowering Yamazaki. He placed one hand on Syaoran's chest and wrapped the other around the boy's wrist, forcing him to sit down, "Well, since the natural disaster that is Xiao Lang's anger seems to have destoyed several of mine, and his own, encampments in the Northern areas of the board, I suggest that we call a time out until we can collects ourselves and-" "No!" Syaoran interrupted sharply, closing his fingers around the defense dice with determination, "Sakura and I are going to fight it out in Mexico." He rolled and Sakura smiled weakly. "You know Syaoran, we don't have to do this. I can just wait until you build up some more ca... I mean, artillery and..." "A Li never backs down from a fight." Syaoran said stiffly, "Besides, what would my mother think?" **FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER...** "What is this, Li Xiao Lang? Why am I seeing black in China and not green?" Meiling was leaning in the doorway casually, arms crossed and a reprouchful look on her face, "Yamazaki, I see that you've finally met your end." "Hmm?" Yamazaki looked up, the pyramid of yellow cannons he had been building collapsing, "Yeah, I've been gone since Hiiragizawa's last turn." "I'm almost out as well." Sakura commented tiredly, leaning her chin in her hand as she continued rolling her defense dice uselessly against Syaoran, "I made the mistake of breaking into Syao-chan's fortress North America." "I guess your cousin isn't as spineless as you thought." Syaoran chimed in, meeting Meiling's dissaproving gaze. "No." she replied, a tad too quickly, "You're horrible and un-chivialrious. Not only is Sakura a newbie at this game, but she's a girl. You should be ashamed of yourself Syaoran." Syaoran's face fell and he let his last roll fall from his hands, "Geeze," he grumbled, "Nothing I ever do is good enough..." "Well, I'm gone." Sakura breathed heavily and removed her last man from the Congo. She placed it in her highly disorginized graveyard and yawned loudly, "There's only Eriol and Syaoran left. What do we do now?" "We finish the game!" Syaoran exclaimed. Meiling groaned and tipped her head back, "Oh. My. God. Please tell me we don't have to stay for this!" Sakura checked her watch, "Not at twelve midnight we don't." she shoved all her armies into their container and stood up, "I'll walk home with you Meiling. It's getting late and you know how Touya is when I'm out with Syaoran." "I think I'll come too!" Yamazaki said hastily, "As much as I would love to see how this turns out, I can't rightly let two young ladies as pretty as you two walk home alone in the dark alone." "You'd better watch it, Yamazaki." Meiling said wryly, raising a dark eyebrow, "Chiharu hasn't let yet, you know." Yamazaki blushed, "Ah, yes, well. Of course she is." "Wait, you guys can't be serious. You're leaving me here alone with... with... him?" Eriol grinned as Syaoran pointed an accusing finger in his direction. "Well, it is Eriol's house." Sakura shrugged, "If he wants to continue the RISK game, then I guess it's okay." "It's up to you, Xiao Lang. We could always call it a draw and go-" "No, no." Syaoran collected his RISK card and tucked it underneath his corner of the board, "I'm cashing in next round. This should end quickly." **THREE HOURS LATER...** "Roll Hiiragizawa." "Xiao Lang, it's nearly three thirty in the morning. How much longer are we going to keep this up?" "Until I win. And I WILL win." "There's no garuntee. We've been at this for three hours and we're still almost equal across the entire board. I tire." "Just roll the Goddamn dice before I do it for you." Eriol sighed and rolled the defense dice without much intrest. Syaoran sneered and removed the last two black infantry from Egypt. "You know, perhaps Yamazaki was right about us, Little Wolf." "You know, perhaps you should roll." "Actually, I've got a much better idea." Eriol moved quickly, catching the boy's wrist as he raised the dice. He kissed Syaoran, and it was quite a kiss. Tounge and all, which caught Syaoran quite off gaurd. The chinese boy 'mph'ed loudly and sent his limbs flying everywheres, sending half the board spinning into oblivion before he succeeded in breaking away. Eriol laughed and Syaoran looked the board over helplessly. "Goddamnit, Hiiragizawa. You do this every single time! Whenever I'm winning at something you're all about the kissing and the distraction and... and... I HAD ASIA!" Syaoran made a loud, fustrated noise and threw the dice at the mage. They made a dull thunk against Eriol's forehead, but the British boy hardly flinched. This was not the desired effect, so Syaoran sulked, "Well, what are we supposed to do now?" Eriol leaned closer and whispered, "I have a few ideas." "I really hate you." "I know, Little Wolf, I know." **TWO DAYS LATER...** "So how did the RISK game go anyways?" Yamazaki wondered, scarfing down his cafeteria-made lunch quickly. "Yeah..." Sakura looked up from her sandwhich, "You never told us, Syaoran." Syaoran's head shot up and he looked around, wearing an exceedingly guilty expression, "Uh, er, well..." "Xiao Lang finally succeeded in capturing in Asia..." Eriol offered, calmly sipping his not-quite-microwave-warm soup. "So who won?" Meiling asked eagerly. Eriol blinked and looked at Syaoran expectantly. The boy flushed red and he stumbled with his fork before taking a deep breath and stating, solidly: "We called a draw." **finished** **POST FIC REFLECTIONS:** Wow, I noticed writing this that I know the Risk board really well. I'm pathetic, neh?  
Just in case anyone was wondering:  
Sakura- Blue  
Syaoran- Green  
Eriol- Black  
Meiling- Red  
Yamazaki- Yellow  
Tomoyo- Gray  
Anyways, if you review be sure to share with us your favorite army color and continent! Myself, I'm more for the black army (of death) and I tend to keep myself well fortified in North America.  
*sincerely  
Jenn Sparky Young  
aka Izzy Girl  
aka Cephied Variable  
cephied_variable@yoishness.zzn.com  
  
ff.n ID#12217 (Izzy Girl)  
ff.p ID#12217 (Cephied Variable) 


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